LIFE WITH A TRACH
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Hi, my name is Ken. I'm 40 years old and have a tracheotomy. I've had it since I was 9 years old due to complication with Neurofibromatosis (NF). NF is defined as a genetic disorder of the nervous system that causes tumors (fibromas) to form on the nerves anywhere in the body at any time.
After 28 years with a trach you can imagine all that I have been through. Luckily, the good outweighs the bad. By having the trach at such an early age I can't remember being any different, this helps a little. My parents were the key to my positive development and out look on life. They were, and still are, very supportive. I was by no means a shy or introverted child as the doctors had warned my parents I would be. I was the opposite, living life to its fullest and never acknowledging there was any problem at all. The only restriction I had was swimming. I would drive my family and friends crazy by floating in the deep end at my Aunts pool. I guess that could be a problem for parents, I had no fear. I played little league, tried down hill skiing, but stuck to cross-country, and even went to overnight camp for many years. We packet up my suction machine and everything else needed for my overnight ventures. The first summer was difficult for my parents and me, mom cried all the way home, but it was one of the best experiences of my life. Believe it or not, I even became an expert glass blower. My adolescent years were trouble and worry free.
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After a pie eating contest.
1974, Age 12
I guess my most troubling times were Jr. High and High School. I had many friends and the teasing and comments were not all that bad. Because of my trach and fibromas I have a deep raspy voice. I was told I sounded like a frog, turtle, etc. The teasing was dealt with accordingly. I was lucky enough to have friends on the high school football team, enough said. My parents dealt with the teasing well. Instead of the normal calling the school or the culprit's parents they helped me deal with it on my own. Although difficult it was. It proved to be the best way. Because of my trach I was limited to many of the after school activities I could be part of. My siblings excelled in sports, which made me jealous at times when they would come home with trophies, ribbons and awards. I found that very difficult.
Dating was a very difficult time for me. Like I said before, I had many friends, which applies also to females. "Ken your such a good friend" was the phrase that I all too often heard. I didn't go to either prom, went to dances with friends. I partied quite a bit, probably to mask my frustrations with dating also to show my peers I was no different then they were. After high school I took 6 months off before college and worked at a retail clothing store (ended up there for 16yrs).
I met a girl (finally!) and dated her during that summer. This relationship gave me the confidence to go to college. I went to college for two years and was a DJ on the college radio station and yearbook photographer, but still had the problems with dating...again ...friends.
College was fun and rewarding, but two years was enough. After graduation I took a mini vacation and then went to work full time. I became very successful in my retail career and moved quickly to become a Store Manager at a very young age. Dating became more frequent; I even had a girl ask me to marry her. Although tempting, I said no because I didn't feel as though she was the right girl for me. She also had cats, and I don't like cats! Sorry. I guess my confidence level was high. After breaking off the 1.5 year relationship I moved out of my parents house (I was 21) and began the life of a bachelor. I went dateless for awhile; but that was all right with me. Then all of a sudden BOOM! I met many people. Not to go into detail but I was doing pretty well and taking full advantage of it. Then I met the women who would later become my wife. I knew the instant I met her she would be the one. I immediately ended all ties with my current relationship and spent time with the woman who now is my wife (11 years and still going strong). As a result, Cathy and I have 3 beautiful children Louis, Kayte, and Benjamin.
With the support of my parents, sister, brother, and friends I became a person with confidence and the ability to face all of life's challenges. This support helped me to grow stronger with every success and disappointment that came my way. The best advice I can give is be yourself, ignore the superficial people in life, learn from your disappointments and grow stronger from them.
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New picture of the kids
I would welcome the opportunity to answer questions, provide support, or just talk about the everyday experiences of life with a trach.
- Ken's Photo Page
- E-mail Ken
